July 4th Talent Show Address

Four score and ten years ago, our forefather, Chuckie Amster and Mama Cornell brought forth on the shores of Lake Balfour, a new camp— conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all girls just wanna have fun. Now we are engaged in a great talent show, testing whether this camp or any camp, so conceived and so dedicated can entertain itself and its brother camp down the road. We have come together to sing, to dance, to tell jokes— I think we have some magic tricks. We had a juggler but he backed out. It is all together fitting and proper that we should do this…on the 4th of July. But in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot honor, we cannot praise this camp. The brave and beautiful women that came before us like Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Anne Bancroft, and Suzanne Vega have honored it far and above our poor power to add or detract… but we’re still pretty awesome. The world will little note nor long remember what we lip sync here tonight on this stage, but we can never forget what we do here with our best friends. It is for us to be here dedicated to the great task of working on our swimming skills, our basketball skills, our Gaga skills, that this camp, under the Wortmans, shall have a new birth of fun in the sun— I mean enough of this rain already. Danny Pratt is building an ark for Christ Sake. And these camps of the people, by the people, and for the people, shall not perish from the town of Minerva.

By: John Forner and Amy Grobstein